Tinder Horror Stories
Dating apps are made to tailor to an individual’s desired interests, hobbies, and physical appearance. These apps are supposed to allow users to filter out suitors that are not up to their standards – whether lack of common interests or simply lack of attraction. These apps connect you with potential partners you’d never otherwise meet, however, the profiles matched are based on information provided by each user. It’s easy for people to meet online and “screen” people through analyzing the implications of the contents of their bios, however, does this filtration system of individual tastes, likes, and attractions actually work to match up potential sane suitors and disregard crazies?
There is a growing movement about social media and dating today. While these no-strings-attached dating apps allow individuals to simply swipe yes or no based on attraction, these apps do not run background checks on each user. These apps ultimately become a twisted dating game of Russian roulette, where each chamber is loaded with potential crazies or people just looking for a kinky hook up. However, increasingly, young people are rejecting this idea of social media as a means for rejection and moving back to the old ways of meeting and dating without technology.
While 56% of US adults agreed that online dating is a good way to meet people, the following three individuals have been burned so badly by their experiences that they have sworn off dating on social media.
My mom moved to a new suburb and I didn’t really know anyone in town. I was home for Christmas break and honestly just got bored. I matched with this guy from the city on Tinder. We got to talking, nothing exciting, just really casual. I went back to Iowa City the next day and was back into the swing of things at school. I was working part-time in the Coral Ridge Mall and as I’m closing down the store, the guy I matched with on tinder, from the suburbs, walks in.
I immediately recognized him, but was so caught off guard that I started sweating uncontrollably. He came up to me and said he had to meet me in person and decided to drive four whole hours to Iowa City just to “surprise me” – after just two days of barley texting. I never even told him where I worked! I told him he had to leave and back to Chicago he went… Needless to say I deleted Tinder immediately after this psycho slipped through the cracks.
Steph, 23
Staying home and taking classes at the community college can get a little dry sometimes. While my friends are off at school meeting girls at parties and bars, my main action comes from Tinder. Buffalo Grove’s selection was getting a little slim so I adjusted my matching radius to Chicago as well, figured why the hell not – action is action. I match with this girl, super artsy, not usually my type but at this point, everyone was my type. I drove to her studio apartment in the city and I tried to bullshit my way with small talk about art. She poured me a glass of wine and didn’t sip hers until I touched mine. Without warning or even an ice breaker, she asked to paint me nude. “Go ahead, drink your wine, it’ll relax you, this is awkward for some people,” she said.
I took everything off and hopped onto her queen-sized bed in the middle of her cold, bare apartment. She posed me in bed, moved my hand to hold up my head and posed my legs with one straight to the side and the other propped up. I honestly felt like the chick from the Titanic – junk and cheeks out, sprawled out in her bed. I wasn’t even weirded out during because who wouldn’t want a picture of themselves naked?
I’m not a big wine guy so I took my time. Before I was even finished with my first glass, she leapt up, grabbed the glass, and told me not to move. The longer I waited there, the more drunk I felt. But from one glass? There’s no way. She handed me the refilled glass and told me that the quicker I drank, the more relaxed I’d feel while she painted. I took a gulp of the wine and stopped – I knew this feeling. I’ve mixed Xanax with alcohol before and never forgot the effects. I had to get out. I jokingly told her that the picture would be even better if I were eating grapes or something. Her eyes widened, she cocked a smile, and she skipped to the fridge to find some. I grabbed my boxers from the floor and sprinted the fuck out of there. It was 2am., I had nowhere to go, and was just drugged by this hipster lunatic in the middle of downtown Chicago. I slept in my (locked) car in some alley way.
I used Tinder all the time before and never had any issues with meet-ups but this, this was the last straw for using social media to pick up girls that’s for damn sure.
Cal, 21
There was a lot of hype around Tinder my freshman year of college and I was recently single for the first time in a long time, so I figured why not. I really didn’t take it seriously at first. I hit it off with this guy I matched with and went on a limb and met up with him. The classic first date “Netflix and Chill” led to sex, which I never rush into but we just had such great conversations and the feelings were definitely plutonic. I just kind of went along with the sex but Nick choked me a little too much for, essentially strangers, having sex for the first time. After that, we started seeing each other, without a label, for about a month. I was also seeing another guy in this time, which Nick eventually found out about. Upon finding out about the other guy, Nick contacted my ex-boyfriend from high school on Facebook trying to commiserate on how awful of a person I am for not being exclusive. I completely cut off contact over text and social media after that.
A few days later, Nick left chocolates and a creepy, handwritten note outside my dorm door that said “I’m sorry that what I did was crazy. I never meant to scare you. You’re my sunshine.”
No contact still. Months later, we chose placements for university apartments for our sophomore year. You can see who else is on your floor when we chose assignments so it was no coincidence that Nick chose the apartment right next to mine. When I realized he was going to live next to me, I contacted the department of residence at school who then gave me the resources to file a “no-contact order” through the county.
It was a tough lesson to learn but I know to always trust my gut instinct. If something seems off about someone, then something probably is wrong – and especially on a dating site.
It’s safe to say I now only associate with guys who I’ve met in class, extracurriculars, or can be verified as sane by people I know haha.
Hannah, 20
*disclaimer* Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.